Talent Show
by Sisren
Summary: Jay and Emma. Cute, but just took a turn for angsty and has drama! Relates to Secrets I and II. CHAPTER 8 UP! Please R & R
1. The break up, rejection and dilemna

Ok, my first shot at a Jay/Emma fic. I don't own Degrassi... Or else I'd be on there and Dylan and Marco would be bi.. Then we'd have a major threesome!! YAYS!!! Oh yah, I dont' own it so that's a pointless fantasy... Sorry.. Well I hope ya'll like this!

"I'm sick of this."

Great. This is got to be the fiftieth fight my girl, Alex, and I have gotten into this week.

"Alex baby, what the hell is up your ass?"

She glared at me. Must be that time of the month. That's explain this whole week.

"What's up my ass? Not you. Unless you count the fact that you're pissin me off like there's no tomorrow. Nothing going on with Cause Girl, eh? Well that's not what I heard. Maybe now I know why you're always out to get her during the day. You just want her worked up for a passionare night."

I winced at that. Its only been a few times at the ravine with Emma, but she was better angry. How did Alex find out though?

"What the fuck are you talking about babe? Me with Emma "Nature Girl" Nelson? Never in a million years."

She looked at me with that all knowing expression of hers. Damn her for being the student council v.p. She knew everything without having to explain how.

"I'm sick of this, Jay Hogart. I don't know what you want. I know you, better than she ever could. I know what you want in a relationship, in sex, in life. Why her? Its killing me. I don't cry over anything, but I cried over this. I don't want it anymore. Get yourself a new girl."

She took off the necklace I gave her for our 1 year and shoved it in my hand. Then she gave me one last, pleading look and left. I slammed my fist into a locker and and walked out. As soon as I got to the side of the school I sat down, really pissed off, thinking about everything. And that's just where she found me. Do you have to ask who? The one and only "prude princess".

"Jay Hogart. Skipping class again? You'll never graduate."

I couldn't believe this. She was skipping class too, otherwise she wouldn't be on this side of school, and she was lecturing me? I looked up at her, and she must have saw the pleading in my eyes, because she stopped smiling and sat next to me, wrapping her arm around me.

"What's wrong Jay?"

"Alex dumped me because of our little midnight rendevous. I don't know where she found out but I will kill whoever told her."

She stared at me in disbelief. I reached out and took her hand, attempting to lace our fingers together. You'd think after our hooking up before that she'd be cooler with it. But she flinched and stood up, backing away.

"Jay, we're from two different worlds. We're hook up partners, not material for a relationship.Remember? I'm cause girl. I'm from the perfect world. You're a candy bar robber, a car guy. It won't work. I'm sorry."

With that, she kissed me and walked away.

What the hell? I thought. Emma just told me no. Hm... she's right about the two different worlds thing. I have to show her how I'm good enough for her though.... Think Jay, think! I hopped in my car and took off, browsing through the radio stations while trying to think of an idea.

You like? I do. Next chappy has sexy stuff. And a point/plan. Please review!


	2. The song, plan and good ol' memories

Ok, I don't own Degrassi or Tim McGraw (If I did, that would be fun and I wouldn't need hopeless fanfiction to occupy my time.) or the song Real Good Man. Have fun with the chappy though. And please review because I love you

I was just about half way to Wasaga for Sean's advice when a song came on the radio that clicked. It was amazing, the first lines stood out. I pulled over to listen to it.

_Girl you've never known no one like me  
Up there in your high society  
They might tell you I'm no good  
Girl they need to understand  
Just who I am  
I may be a real bad boy  
But baby I'm a real good man _

I may drink too much and play too loud  
Hang out with a rough and rowdy crowd  
That don't mean I don't respect  
My Mama or my Uncle Sam  
Yes sir, yes ma'am  
I may be a real bad boy  
But baby I'm a real good man

I might have a reckless streak  
At least a country-mile wide  
If you're gonna run with me  
It's gonna be a wild ride  
When it comes to loving you  
I've got velvet hands  
I'll show you how a real bad boy  
Can be a real good man

I take all the good times I can get  
I'm too young for growing up just yet  
Ain't much I can promise you  
'Cept to do the best I can  
I'll be damned  
I may be a real bad boy  
But baby I'm a real good man

I may be a real bad boy  
Oh but baby I'm a real good man  
Yes I am

That was it... I needed to here who sang it so I could find the lyrics. "And that was Tim McGraw with his new one, Real Good Man."

Aha. This was it. I'd show her how I was different than she imagined. I mean, if Jay Hogart could sing a country song, couldn't there be more to him than a bad boy? Woah, skipping a little ahead here. The Degrassi Talent Show was only a week and a half away, and they were still taking sign ups. If I could sing this infront of every one, while making eye contact with her, couldn't she see how much I wanted to be with her??? I sighed, this was gonna be one hard girl to get.

I decided not to go see my boy Cameron, but to just go back to Toronto and find those lyrics. I couldn't go to Degrassi again after missing all my classes after lunch, but I could go to the... library!

After much searching and finding them, then calling Towerz to sign me up for the talent show (Oh man, he freaked. Thought I was gonna seranade Alex into going with me again. Needless to say he ran to her and told her she had to be at the talkent show and listen to me. Better than I thought...) it was finally midnight. I was waiting at the ravine for an hour, waiting for Em to show up. I needed her taste. I loved going down on her, she tasted so sweet. And when she climaxed, oh man, it was sexy as hell!

Emma's legs would start to shake as I attacked her clitoris. The look on her face would be pure extasy. Her hands would grip the sheets on the van floor so tightly her nuckles would turn white. And she'd moan. It was so sexy because it wasn't porn star moaning, but it wasn't faking. It was from the sheer pleasure she had, she'd moan normally and then my name. I'd love it.

And when she went down on me.. Oh man, it was hard to believe she'd never done it before. Because she was fucking amazing!!! First she'd grab my manhood in her hands, rubbing up and down. Then she'd lick my shaft and balls. And she'd start sucking me, sometimes going only a little past the head and using her tongue in amazing ways, all the while still tickling my balls. oh man, it was amazing. Believe it or not she was a swallower. It was funny to watch the first time. She gulped it all at once and gagged. "You didn't have to swallow." I said. She shook her head. "No, I liked it. It was just a lot of it and I wasn't expecting it." Those were the days.

I waited another hour and then I went home. I took out my guitar and started playing the tabs. I didn't sleep at all, I was just really wanting to learn all of the song. By 7, I had it all down. I showered and put on my usual thug gear, and went to school. I can't wait to see Emma.

I didn't have to wait long. As I pulled up, in my beautiful orange civic, she was at the school entrance protesting something or other. I didn't have to here her to know she was passionate about whatever the hell it was. I thought this would be funny. Then I heard what she was protesting.

Cliffy!!! Oh yay!!! I love cliffys!! Not really. Anyway, next chap will be up soon. Have fun!!!


	3. Protests, infections and feelings

Disclaimer: once again I own nothing. I love Jay tho!!!!

"Police the ravine!" She shouted.

That girl who got knocked up last year was handing out fliers as Emma shouted. As I aproached Emma, the girl shoved one in my face.

"Here, _JAYSON_, you might want this." She practically spit in my face.

I moved aside her and lightly grabbed Emma's arm. She didn't stop, just muttered "Let go Jay." I didn't, naturally, and I tried to get her to follow me. After about five minutes she handed the girl her sign and asked her to continue the protest.

We walked to my car and she sighed. "What do you want, Jay?"

"I want to know why you're doing this. Is there some revenge you want to get on me? I mean, I'd do anything for you, so why are you doing this to me?"

She pulled me into a soft kiss. "Because. Its not right. If people want to hook up like we do, they should do it in the privacy of their home or their own cars."

I looked down on her. "I don't think that's it."

She sighed again. That seemed to be becoming a habit for her. She looked into my eyes and I saw the tears in hers.

"I have ghonerria, Jay. I think I got it from you."

My mouth dropped. Ghonerria? Her??? Oh shit. I went to say something and she made a motion for me to let her continue.

"Alex has it too. So does Amy. I heard them talking in the girls' washroom one day when they thought they were alone. Amy fessed up to going down on you a few times and told Alex about me. Alex was going to announce it to the whole school, but I came out and tried to talk her out of it. In the end, she wanted me to do one of my causes to police the ravine so she wouldn't have to worry about you doing all that you do. I agreed so there wouldn't be any exposure. That's why I was skipping yesterday, I had to go to the clinic and see if I was infected."

My eyes fell to the ground. I didn't believe it. I honestly didn't. There was no way..I only hooked up with Amy and Em.... Which meantI had to have gotten it from Amy. I was pissed.

"Jay..." she began. When I looked up she went on. "I want you to come with me to the clinic to get treated. Its obvious that you've got it, so let's get rid of it together."

I nodded and we got in my car. I pulled out and we went to the clinic in silence. Emma couln't bear to face up to what happened, so I did all the talking when we got there. We went to separate rooms and about half an hour later we were both ghonerria free and back in my car.

"Do you want to go to school or grab something to eat?" I asked her without looking at her.

She took forever to answer, and when she did it wasn't even a real answer. "Whatever you want." She mumbled.

I sighed. Wow, sighing has been happening a lot this morning. Then I pulled my car into the nearest parking lot and pulled her out.

"Emma Nelson. I cannot believe you. What the hell has happened to you? Do you have no opinion of your own? You aren't fighting a cause, you arent' telling me off for giving you an STD, you aren't even looking at me while I'm talking to you."

She was staring at her feet as she answered me, barely audible. "Jay... I can't do it anymore. I'm broken. I can't be the brave and perfect me you met two years ago."

"Yes you can.. I need you to be..." I whispered in her ear as I tilted her chin up. I kissed her softer than I'd even kissed anyone, and to my surprise she kissed back.

"Let's go back to school, Jay..." She whispered after we broke apart. I nodded, and we headed off.

Two days later!!!!!

The talent show was tonight. Emma hadn't done anything except occassionally glance at me during the day, while I was chillin with my crew. I missed her like crazy.. I mean, she was three feet away from me sometimes, but in my mind she couldn't have been further away from me. I longed for her kisses, and wanted her to come reform me. I knew it sounded cheesy, but I wanted the virtuous Emma to come into my life and plavce expectations upon me as she did my boy Cameron. I needed it.

I held my breath as I watched her walk my way during lunch. She stopped right in front of me, and looked me strait in the eyes.

"I hear you're performing tonight."

"Yah, and?"

"Why are you going to make a fool of yourself?"

"I'll back out if you let me perform for you outside, at my car, now."

"Perform what?"

"You'll see."

She followed me out the door and to my civic. I opened the trunk and pulled the guitar and amp out. Then I closed the trunk and motioned for her to sit on it. As she did I shakily plugged my guitar into my amp and tuned it a bit. I knew I was stalling, but I was nervous. Hell, if you were going to perform a country song to the girl of your dreams in an open parking lot, wouldn't you be nervous?

"Well," I said, "Here goes nothing....

_Girl you've never known no one like me  
Up there in your high society  
They might tell you I'm no good  
Girl they need to understand  
Just who I am  
I may be a real bad boy  
But baby I'm a real good man _

_I may drink too much and play too loud  
Hang out with a rough and rowdy crowd  
That don't mean I don't respect  
My Mama or my Uncle Sam  
Yes sir, yes ma'am  
I may be a real bad boy  
But baby I'm a real good man_

_I might have a reckless streak  
At least a country-mile wide  
If you're gonna run with me  
It's gonna be a wild ride  
When it comes to loving you  
I've got velvet hands  
I'll show you how a real bad boy  
Can be a real good man_

_I take all the good times I can get  
I'm too young for growing up just yet  
Ain't much I can promise you  
'Cept to do the best I can  
I'll be damned  
I may be a real bad boy  
But baby I'm a real good man_

_I may be a real bad boy  
Oh but baby I'm a real good man  
Yes I am"_

She seemed shocked when I finished. As she rose to walk away I set my guitar down and grabbed her arm. No, it wasn't a harmful grab, okay? I wouldn't ever hurt her.

"Jay... I know you like me, and I know that song was to let me know that though you and I are from different backrounds, you would treat me right. But what if I'm not ready?"

"We've hooked up before! We went to the clinic together about the ghonerria thing! Why won't you open up to me?"

She looked strait into my eyes, with a passion that scared me. "You want to know why?" she asked, her voice cold as ice. I nodded. "Because, I-"

CLIFFY TIME!!!!!!!! Sorry guys, but I have to update my other stories too! Xs and Os tho!


	4. Answers, lectures and fights

Disclaimer: Damnit, I own nothing. Nothing. Nothing at all.... tears...

_She seemed shocked when I finished. As she rose to walk away I set my guitar down and grabbed her arm. No, it wasn't a harmful grab, okay? I wouldn't ever hurt her._

_"Jay... I know you like me, and I know that song was to let me know that though you and I are from different backrounds, you would treat me right. But what if I'm not ready?"_

_"We've hooked up before! We went to the clinic together about the ghonerria thing! Why won't you open up to me?"_

_She looked strait into my eyes, with a passion that scared me. "You want to know why?" she asked, her voice cold as ice. I nodded. "Because, I-"_

She broke of and looked down. I could see a tear slide down her cheek and I gently lifted her head and wiped it off. She tried to pull away but I held her still.

"Jay…" she said pathetically.

"Emma…" I mimicked. "Why?"

"I know I was one of the girls you hooked up with, and there were others, but you were with Alex. You cheated on her, how can I be sure you won't cheat on me? I'm sick of how I get treated in relationships, so I don't want to bother with it anymore."

That was it? She had a point about the cheating thing, but I wasn't going to let her win with that.

"Emma Nelson, I promise you I would never cheat on you. You aren't Alex… Alex wasn't the type of girl who could hold my attention outside of sex, you are. I need you in my life. I would never do anything to hurt you."

Em looked at me with pleading eyes, I could tell she was begging me to leave. I wouldn't though, not if I was offered a million dollars. This girl is worth more than that. I leaned down and kissed her, and, to my surprise, she kissed back. My hand traced down her side until it found its destination, her hand. She let me hold it and I knew we were a "we" now. She pulled back to catch her breath as the bell rang, and waited for me to put my stuff away to go inside. And we walked into Degrassi with a new confidence.

As I held the door open for my _new_ girlfriend, I could see Alex looking on in horror. I almost laughed at her face. My arm slid around Emma and she led me to her class, which happened to be right next to mine. I kissed her and could see Simpson's eyes catching fire.

"Daddy's upset…" I whispered into her lips.

"So?" She kissed me again and walked into the classroom.

Oh yah, this is good.

I walked into my class and sat in my seat behind Alex. The fury in her eyes was still there and she went to tell me something when Kwan started in.

"Now class, today we will be beginning a new play. I know some of you find Shakespeare to be boring…"

This was going to take a while.

Bell rang and I walked to Emma's class. Her friend Manny told me she was talking to Raditch and she said she'd meet me at lunch, so I started to walk away. Until Simpson called me back.

"Jayson." I walked over to him and gave him a "go on" look.

"I don't know what's going on between you and my daughter to get you two going out, but I can assure you that you do not want to mess with her."

Great, not even a full hour and her dad was already breathing down my neck.

"Look, Mr. S., I don't want to hurt Emma at all. She's my girl, she means a lot to me. I know you've seen me with my crew and with Alex, but I'm not like that with your daughter."

He nodded. "Well, even if I don't like you, she does. I expect you over for dinner tonight, 6 sharp, okay?"

I mumbled a yes and he said I could go. Hurray. I get to meet the whole family the first day.

I got to the cafeteria and had just barely located Emma when I saw Alex stand up on her chair. Oh no, this can't be good.

"Students of Degrassi, this is your Vice President speaking, Alex (Last name???). I have a lovely piece of information some of you might wish to know as to protect yourselves. Jayson Hogart has been infected with the sexually transmitted disease Ghonerria. Also, Amy (last name??), Emma Nelson and certain other females at Degrassi have been infected as well. Watch yourselves."

Alex sat down and I saw Emma stand up.

"Alex forgot one person in there, HERSELF. She got the virus while screwing Towerz, infected Jay who infected the other girls including myself. So beware of Alex. She's a slut."

Alex shouted out a "why you little—" and jumped on Emma. The whole fight started faster than I could imagine, but it got started sure enough. Before I could get over there, Emma was straddling Alex and throwing wild punches. Alex was pulling her hair with one hand and scratching her chest with the other. I couldn't believe it. I pulled Emma off and put her behind me.

"That's enough you two. You can't go fighting people during the school day because of something like this. You'll both get suspended."

"Good observation, Jayson. I assume that you've been in that position enough times to realize it though. Girls, follow me." I didn't even have to look up to know it was Raditch. Oh shit, I thought, my poor baby's getting tainted. And her daddy dearest is going to flip out on me.

**You'll get a new chapter soon. I hope. Um, I know some of you probably weren't expecting Emma to say what she said, but oh well. Um, quick question: Do you guys want me to do this in Emma's pov too? Review and let me know. Thanks to all my reviewers. I really love you guys!!!  
Mary**


	5. Emma's view to chapters one and two

This is Emma's POV for chappy's 1 and 2!

GREAT! Mom and dad will totally flip out and kill me. I just got back to Degrassi after an oh-so-lovely doctors appointment to find out that I have friken' ghonerria. I mean, do you know all the shit that can go wrong in your body from ghonerria? I want children!

Well, walking in is lovely. I can see Jay and Alex fighting. Again. It kind of hurts, watching him care about her. I actually care for somebody, and I know he has the hots for me, but he's with her and can only serial cheat on her with me at night. Hm… Alex just caught my eye. I wonder… Did she tell him about me? Did she tell him she knew about the affairs and the std? I hope not.

I'm standing here, leaning against the door and watching them fight. This is how I like to spend my day. Watching the person I want hurt his lovely girlfriend whose ass I've kicked before and would gladly kick again. Wait… I just saw a tear slide down her cheek. And her anniversary necklace in his hands? OMG, is this what I think it is? I hope so.

Jay's storming out, he used the door two away from where I am but still didn't see me. I guess he must be upset. But why? He only used her for sex. And she was hella with Towerz every other night. How else did she get ghonerria and give it to Jay? I mean, Amy was clean until hooking up with Jay last week when Alex started showing symptoms, and I just got it a few nights ago.

But Jay doesn't know that.

I walked outside to where Jay was. "Jay Hogart. Skipping class again? You'll never graduate." I joked. But something in his eyes told me not to mess with him right now. So I slid next to him and wrapped my arms around him, like I do with Craig's sister. "What's wrong Jay?"

"Alex dumped me because of our little midnight rendevous. I don't know where she found out but I will kill whoever told her."

I stared at him in disbelief. He reached out and took my hand, attempting to lace our fingers together. I flinched and backed away. No, not now. I mean, my rep is at risk. Alex could ruin me. And I don't want to get hurt again.

"Jay, we're from two different worlds. We're hook up partners, not material for a relationship.Remember? I'm cause girl. I'm from the perfect world. You're a candy bar robber, a car guy. It won't work. I'm sorry."

I kissed him and walked away. I could see the hurt in his eyes, but I couldn't stay. I mean, he wanted to hook up and I liked him and all, but what about the fact that he cheated on Alex with me? Chances are he'd just cheat on me with some other girl in a continuous circle. And who's to tell I wouldn't do something either? All we were was hook up partners.

Jay's car revved up and I heard him pull out, but I didn't look at him. As soon as his car was gone I leaned against the building and cried. And that's where I stayed until the bell rang. I wiped my tears away and walked in. Sure, school was over, but I did need a ride from dad.

As I walked into the MI lab, you could see he was pissed at me.

"Emma where were you? You left after my class and haven't been in school since, but you can show up for a ride? What's wrong with you?"

I dodged his eyes and sat down. "Whenever you're ready to go, _Dad_, I'm ready too."

He sighed and got up, announcing to every one the MI lab was closing. After every one left, he walked out and I followed, never once looking up from the floor. We got home, and I walked strait to my room. I stayed there, crying, not moving until my mom came in. She just sat there and held me, similar to how I held Jay earlier. I looked into her eyes and knew I had to tell her.

"Mommy… I have ghonerria, and I have to go to the clinic tomorrow to get rid of it. But you have to sign this consent form." I handed it to her and she signed it wordlessly.

"Emma, I am disappointed in you, but you're showing me that you're attempting to take care of yourself. I know you aren't a little girl anymore, but it doesn't mean that you can just go around doing things like you've been doing. And you are grounded. Two weeks. And I'm checking your room every hour in the night to make sure you're still here. Goodnight Emma."

"Goodnight mom."

Great. Just what I need. But what can you do? She's a parent. I curled up and went to sleep. No use crying over spilt milk, and I could use some sleep too.


	6. A whole lot o' changes

Thank you to all my loyal reviewers! Just thought I'd tell you all that you're inspiring me with every review I get. love ya'll!!!!

When Emma got out of Raditch's office I was there waiting. Sure it meant skipping a class, and Raditch did see me, but no one said anything. She walked strait out to me and pretty much latched on to me. I knew she'd been suspended before, Cameron told me that back when we were convincing him to leave, but I take it that actually earning the suspension made her feel trashy.

I held her hand and walked her to Simpson's class. He had a prep period right now, so no one was around when we walked in. He looked up and told whoever he was on the phone with the hold on. She couldn't look him in the eyes, as a matter of fact her eyes never left the floor.

"Emma," he said. "your mom can't pick you up and I can't leave so you're going to have to walk home."

She nodded and I spoke up, "Actually, Mr. S., I can take her home. No one said anything to me about my ditching to wait for her to get done with Raditch, so they probably won't say anything about this."

He nodded to me and we turned to leave. He didn't say anything else, so we just walked out. She got into my car like she left school early with me all the time. But she did one thing to surprise me.

"You know what? This feels good. I should have beat the shit out of Alex a long time ago."

We both laughed and I kissed her. Then we pulled out of Degrassi and took off. I didn't pull out in the direction to go to her house and I knew she noticed it because I could hear her start to say something, but she stopped.

"I know, we aren't going to your house right away. I need to check on my mom."

I could see her nod and she didn't say anything else.

I've started to wonder if this is how our relationship was going to be. Every time we're alone it either being physical action or silence. I hope not. I know she has a passion, I know that when she talks about something she really cares about there's a fire in her eyes that's unimaginable. I just hope she gets like that with me.

We passed a protest against gay marriages at city hall and I saw that familiar fire in her eyes.

"Jay, can we pull over?" I did.

I watched her get out, and I got out to listen to her. She went up to the person with the microphone and asked if she could say something. He nodded and handed it to her and I knew the protesters were going to get it.

"How would you feel if some one protested you marrying in a heterosexual couple? Restricting marriages to heterosexual couples is not right. Just because you were born one way and have not developed feelings of another way doesn't make it right for you to judge people for their sexuality. And if you think it does than maybe you need to be judged yourself."

Emma threw the microphone back at the man and walked to my car.

"Nice, Cause Girl. I happen to not care for it myself, but its their choices and if you feel one way I certainly won't fight it."

She smiled at me and kissed me. "Thanks Jay. I suppose I won't protect the candy bars at my house from you."

I laughed and kissed her back. This was going to be one great ride of a relationship.

We pulled into my driveway and I got out of the car. I motioned for her to follow me and she did.

"I know this isn't exactly your type of neighborhood, but my mom does what she can and I love her for it."

She nodded and we walked in.

"Mom? You here?" I didn't hear anything so I just walked into the living room. There was my mom sprawled out across the couch, but something wasn't right about it. I leaned over to kiss her cheek and she wasn't breathing. Oh no.

"Emma call an ambulance. Hurry!" I started to shake my mom and I noticed blood on her wrists. After looking at them more closely, I realized she'd slit them and I'd started to shake.

Emma got of the phone and came over to me. She held me like a little kid, putting my head against her chest, and rocked me back and forth.

"It'll be alright Jay, it'll be alright. The ambulance is coming, they're going to take care of her. Don't worry my love, it'll be okay."

I could hear her talking to me, but I wasn't listening. All I could think about was what if my mom died. The paramedics pulled into the driveway and came inside, but I couldn't bear to look at them. They shocked her chest and tried to get her to wake up, but in the end, they pronounced her dead on the scene. And I cried.

Emma cried with me, even though she didn't know my mom. She cried and held me while I cried. The paramedics took her to the morgue and left us there, me a heaping mess on the floor and Emma trying to keep me together.

We stayed like that for about half an hour until I heard her cell phone ringing. She answered it and it was her mom. She told them where we were and what had happened, and I started to sob as I heard it and for the first time understood it. She told her mom she had to go and started to rock me again.

No one had ever seen me like this, and I couldn't believe Emma was seeing me like this on out first day as a couple, but I didn't care. I had just lost the one thing that was keeping me together when I wasn't with Emma. And it hurt.

Emma's POV

I was sitting in Mr. Raditch's office for nearly an hour before I was called in. I could hear him saying a lot of stuff, but I wasn't really paying attention. I heard him telling me that even though I hadn't started the fight, I was still being suspended because I fought back. He told me he'd see me in two days and Jay was waiting for me outside, so I walked out to meet him.

He grabbed my hand and walked me to dad's classroom. I don't know if dad could look at me or not, because I couldn't look at him. You know when you feel lower than scum? That's how I feel right now. Dad was on the phone when we walked in, and I figured it was with mom. He told me I'd have to walk home, and I nodded, but then I heard Jay speak up, offering to take me. I was surprised that dad agreed to let him, but he did.

We walked to Jay's car in silence, and sat there for a minute until I finally spoke up.

"You know what? This feels good. I should have beat the shit out of Alex a long time ago."

We both laughed and Jay leaned in to kiss me. It felt really nice, and I was starting to feel better about this whole suspension shit. He pulled out of Degrassi, but didn't take off towards my house. I almost said something, but I cut myself off. I knew Jay had heard me though, because he spoke up to tell me we were going to check on his mom.

On the way to his house there was a protest against gay marriage and it made me sick. My uncle (dad's older brother) is gay. Marco is gay. There's nothing wrong with being gay. So I asked Jay to pull over.

I got out of the car and walked strait up to the podium. I felt like telling some people off for ignorance. So I was going to!

"How would you feel if some one protested you marrying in a heterosexual couple? Restricting marriages to heterosexual couples is not right. Just because you were born one way and have not developed feelings of another way doesn't make it right for you to judge people for their sexuality. And if you think it does than maybe you need to be judged yourself."

I threw the microphone back at the man and walked to Jay's car.

"Nice, Cause Girl. I happen to not care for it myself, but its their choices and if you feel one way I certainly won't fight it."

I smiled at him and kissed him. I missed being called cause girl. "Thanks Jay. I suppose I won't protect the candy bars at my house from you."

He kissed me and I felt really good about today, and us. We pulled into his driveway and he motioned me to follow him so I did. His house was deathly silent and I could hear him calling out for his mom. We walked into the living room and his mom was on the couch. I could see blood but I don't think he was it until he kissed her cheek.

He hollered for me to call the emergency number and I did. I walked out to get the address and when I came back in Jay was on the floor shaking. I sat down next to him and held him. As I pressed his head to my chest and rocked him back and forth I told him it would all be okay, I would take care of him and everything would be fine.

The paramedics came and tried to save her but pronounces her dead on scene. He started to cry and it made me feel so sad that I started to cry. Sure, I didn't know her, but she was still dead in front of me and my boyfriend was breaking down because of it.

We sat there for God knows how long until my phone rang. I got up and answered it.

-----cell phone convo----

Emma: Hello?

Caller: Em, its mom. Where are you?

Emma: Mom I'm at Jay's. We went to check on his mom and found out she committed suicide. (Jay breaks into sobs)

Spike: Oh honey I'm so sorry. What's the address, we'll come pick you up.

Emma: 4092 Cristian Blvd (made up, don't know if its real or not). But I have to go, Jay needs me.

Spike: Ok, be there soon!

---ends---

I leaned down and kissed Jay's forehead.

"Its okay Jay, I'm gonna make sure you're alright. I promise you I won't let you hurt anymore."

He grabbed me and pulled me down on his lap where he held me and cried like there was no tomorrow. I wasn't going to let him down, so I just held back and stayed quiet, letting him express whatever he felt like.

**Hope you guys like it! Four whole pages in Microsoft word and this is on page five. I'll update after xmas probably, so have a happy non-denominational seasons greatings!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	7. To save or to be saved

**Nope, don't own anything. But thank you to my reviewers. I love you all and hope you had a merry xmas. I did. This is only going to be another few chapters. I was going to end it here, but I'm not that mean. There will be a sequel though, and I promise you'll like it if you like this.**

**-Mary**

Emma's POV

Well, I can't do much about Jay's breakdown, except to be a good girlfriend. What does that mean? That means I'm gonna sit here and hold him, take care of him, love him, and be a good friend. He's broken right now. I guess all of the shit since the shooting has killed him. I knew he and Spinner and Alex were the ones that pushed Rick over the wall, so to speak, but I can't blame them. Rick had problems. But the point is Jay can't handle it anymore. He's broken down in shambles and I'm holding his hand, pulling him through the darkness.

Mom and dad are on their way over here to save us both. I think I'm going to ask the parents if Jay could stay with us for a while. We can't leave him in this place and he needs somewhere stable. I watch him, and I see that his eyes have fallen and he's sleeping. His breathing has slowed and he's out of the pain temporarily. I lay his head on the couch and find his room. Its not that much of a challenge; the dirty clothes on the floor and car posters on the wall are a dead give away. So I walk in and pick up a spare bag off the floor. Then I walk to his dresser and open the drawers.

You can tell he's a typical boy; his clothes are tossed in and wrinkled, so I decide to fold them and put them in the bag nicely. I've got about five outfits put in the bag, including boxers, when I decide he might want a few books that I see on his desk. I know, I know. Jay Hogart knows how to read? He's actually pretty intelligent. So I pile four books in and a few of his magazines, intentionally leaving playboy magazines in their spot under the desk. I tie the bag and head to the living room. Jay is still sleeping, so I set the bag down next to him and walk to the kitchen for a drink.

Just as I presumed, half of it is filled with bear, but there are a few Dr. Peppers there and I grab one. The kitchen is filled with dishes and the garbage needs to go out, so I put the dishes in the dishwasher, start it and take the garbage out. When I come back in I can here a car pulling up, so I go to the door to meet my parents. Sure enough, they're getting out of the car as I walk to meet them. My mom grabs me and pulls me into a hug. No tears spill this time as I hug back.

Snake puts his arm around me and I can tell he's not upset with me anymore. So I figure this is the perfect time to ask.

"Mom… Dad?" They nod. "I was wondering… I mean, I'll understand if you say no, but Jay has no place to go but here and his mom just killed herself on his couch…"

I couldn't go on, I had tears falling down faster than ever before and I knew this had affected me as much as the Rick thing had. Mom squeezed me tighter and Snake spoke up.

"Of course he can stay with us. Just promise us you won't mess around with him."

"I promise."

Sure, I wanted to get in his pants again but this isn't the time and my house isn't the place. I wiped my tears away and we walked into the house. Jay was awake, I have a strong suspicion that he only pretended to be asleep so I would relax. Its sweet of him to do things like that. He was looking at a picture of his family, when his dad was still around, and he didn't notice us come in. I walked behind him and wrapped my arms around him. Mine. No one else can have him. That's the message I'm going to send out to the world.

I felt his hands reach up and stroke my arms. He needed the comfort; I can give it to him. Snake cleared his throat and we both looked up. Jay's grip never left my arm.

"Spike, I mean, Mrs. Simpson and I have been talking about this. You aren't in the best of situations, and this is a bad place for you to be in your position, so we want to invite you to stay with us."

I don't think I've ever seen a look in Jays' eyes to rival the need and sadness he felt when he looked at dad and responded.

"I'd really like that. I think I even need it."

Mom smiled at me and I smiled back. I think this situation will work out well. Jay stood up (my arms were still wrapped around him) and I let out a yelp as he pulled me up. I guess I sounded pretty funny because every one was laughing at me. I felt my face growing red and Jay pulled me from his back to in front of him and kissed me. He grabbed his bag and we all walked out. I have to think that this was a blessing in some ways, and I know Jay agrees. I can see it in his eyes as we climb into his civic and he pulls out and heads to my house. I can't wait until Jay recovers from all of this. I'm going to surprise him in ways he could never imagine.

Jay's POV

After crying into my lovely girlfriend for what seemed like hours, I started to feel the anxiousness in her so I pretended to fall asleep. She caught on and in a few minutes she was off my lap and exploring my house. I could see out of the corner of my eye that she had found my room. I just hope she hasn't found my porn magazines. She wouldn't be able to tell that the tapes are porn, but she'd flip out over the magazines.

She was in there for about ten minutes and I wondered what the hell she was doing. She came back in the living room with a bag full of stuff and set it not to far away from me. Then she walked to the kitchen and grabbed a soda. I kinda wonder if she would have drank the beer if it was all that was there. But I'll never know. I could see her looking around the kitchen and see the disgusting mess. Mom really outdid herself before leaving me here. It hurts. Emma started to load the dishwasher and I couldn't help but think, why?

When I heard the door slam as Emma took the trash out I moved quickly to pull the condoms out of the coffee table's secret drawer. I shoved them in the bag to where Emma couldn't see them and pretended to fall asleep again. When I car pulled up in the driveway it didn't take me three guesses to figure out who was here. I watched my girlfriend go outside to great her parents and I reached for the picture next to the television. It was a picture of the family, when my dad was still around.

Dad's been gone for about three years, physically, but he was gone long before that. I remember when I was little, mom and dad would fight for hours. They'd tell me it wasn't my fault, but I heard them shout about me after they thought I was sleeping. Eventually, mom started shooting up. I think I was about thirteen back then, but I don't remember exactly. One day, when she was completely out of it, he came home and didn't want to deal with her anymore. I watched as my dad shook her violently, trying to get her to wake up. It did no good.

He couldn't take it. He went to the fridge, grabbed a beer from the fridge. I watched as he drank, then drank the rest of the pack, and grabbed his keys. I tried to stop him, I begged him, but he was too drunk to hear my pleading cries. Hours later, when mom realized what was happening, she called every hospital in the city. After the third call, she found out he was dead. Drove strait into a tree. Mom died inside that day. I think I did too. After the funeral and everything, mom started drinking heavily. I'd come home and she'd have a new boyfriend every week.

It was about that time I met Alex. She distracted me from my pain. She would take me to parties, and one day we got drunk and had sex. We were fifteen. Alex ended up getting pregnant and my mom freaked. I think she got the hint from my mistake that she needed to shape up. She went to rehab and hasn't drank since. When Alex came to our house crying when she was five months, mom knew right away that we needed to call the cops. Alex's dad had beat her to the point of unconsciousness. By the time the paramedics got there we already figured she had a miscarriage. We were right. Alex tried to kill herself that night, in my bathroom. Mom found her and cleaned her up. Alex promised not to do it again. But I think my mom got the idea from that.

Now, I'm seventeen, and parentless. This house is technically mine now, but it reeks of death. I won't get over it anytime soon. I need to get away. I suppose I could stay with Towerz, but I don't want to impose. He's never had to run to my place, so I don't want to run to his. I can hear Emma walking in with her parents but I can't bring myself to look up. I feel her arms wrap around me and I move my hand to hold her right arm and stroke it. We sit there for a few minutes before Simpson speaks up.

"Spike, I mean, Mrs. Simpson and I have been talking about this. You aren't in the best of situations, and this is a bad place for you to be in your position, so we want to invite you to stay with us."

I could feel the desperation in my eyes showing, but I think my need to be saved was greater than that of my need to be proud.

"I'd really like that. I think I even need it."

I could feel Emma's smile against my hair and I knew I made her happy. I stood up, holding her arms to me and she let out the funniest squeak I'd ever heard. We all laughed and I pulled her around to face me. I kissed her and set her down. Mrs. S said it would be fine for Emma and I to take my car, so I grabbed my bag and Em's hand and led her to my car. Both Emma and I knew that this was a new beginning, and as I pulled out, I could feel the love radiating off of her. I can't screw this us, I just can't.

I want to tell her I love her but I'm too cautious of scaring her away. So I sit here, still, and just grab her hand. This won't be too bad, I'm thinking as we pull into her drive, and I kiss her once more for good luck.

**I hope you liked this. About 4 pages again. And 2,000 words. All for you guys, so R and R please!!!**


	8. Scoring and popping the question!

Warning: this chapter contains sex, sex and fluff.

Jays POV

Its been a week here at Emma's house. Snake and Spike (as they insisted I call them) have been amazing. I never go without a meal, I have a good place to do homework, and I can go down to Emma's room anytime I want. Most of the time Emma and I just listen to music and I hold her tight, but then again, if it gets to be around eleven she and I have heavy make out sessions which usually only lead us to second base, but I don't care. I just love being with her.

I guess its safe to say I've changed. I'm still a bad ass who scares people away, but I don't steal things or hang out with my old crew. I haven't partied in weeks and I even _babysat_ baby Jack. I suppose Spike and Snake saw it too, because they agreed to let Emma and I stay home alone while they went out to a concert with Joey and Caitlin.

Oh yah, did I mention that I hang out with Joey, Caitlin and Craig now? Its crazy.

So back to what I was saying about staying home with Emma. It was a Saturday night. We were sitting on the couch, watching a scary movie, when Emma started making moves on me. I suppose its pretty weird that I'm not the one pushing for sex and she is. But I'll take her if she's ready.

I could feel her hand moving up towards my dick, and despite my attempt at self control, I was rock hard. She laughed seductively and moved onto my lap.

"Horny Jay?" she asked, "I am. What do you say we satisfy our needs?"

I kissed her hard in response and she started tugging at the hem of my shirt. Its kind of strange, but I didn't want to take her without her knowing I loved her and her loving me. So I figured that this would be the best time to say it.

"Emma wait." She looked up at me. "I love you."

I could see the surprise in her eyes, but then there was a gleam of joy in them.

"I love you too," she said. "And I want to do this."

I nodded and let her lift my shirt up then I kissed her and unbuttoned hers. I could feel her heart beat as I kissed down her chest, and I knew it was going so fast because of me, so that made me even hornier. As I took her bra off I gently licked each nipple before taking her right one in my mouth and sucking on it while she moaned. Then I took the other and did the same. Her moaning turned me on so much more that my erection started to hurt. Damn, this girl is good.

I undid the drawstrings on her pants with my teeth as she laughed playfully and I pulled on the waits of her pants with my teeth, pulling them down to her ankles.

"You know what? I like your pants around your feet."

We both laughed, which got me to go a little softer, to my relief.

Emma pushed me down while kicking her pants off and started to pull my pants off me. She waited til she got to my boxers to use her teeth, but it was fucking sexy. So much for not being so hard it hurt.

I pulled her blue, bikini style underwear off quickly and grabbed a condom from my bag. After I put it on, I looked at her again.

"Are you sure you want this?"

She nodded.

"Nodding ain't good enough. I need to hear you say it."

"Yes Jay, I want this. I need this. I'm ready."

I nodded and stuck two fingers in her. She looked at me confused.

"I'm just stretching you out a little. I'm way too big to just stick it in you."

She nodded in understanding and I pushed my fingers in and out for a few minutes before I stuck another in her. I could see her wince and I was glad that I did this first. So, after stretching her out for a few minutes I stuck my dick in her. She cried out and I whispered to her that it would be okay. I started out slow and when she started to feel good I went faster. It wasn't long before she came and I came with her.

"That was amazing, Jay" she whispered to me.

"I know, my love. I'd love to stay here in your arms all night, but we need to get dressed, your paretns will be home soon."

I opened the windows after we got dressed and I sprayed air freshener to get rid of the smells we had left. When we were all done fixing up the place I held her in my arms and we turned the tv on. We just cuddled for twenty minutes until her parents came home, then we got up and helped with the baby.

Around 0200 h#, when every one was asleep, I snuck into Emma's room.

"Jay?" she mumbled. I think I woke her up.

"Emma, baby, I have something to tell you." She sat up. "Emma, I really love you. I feel so amazing about the fact thatwe made love and I still have you. But I can't stay here forever. I mean, I would love to but I don't think Simpson would go for that. So I want to ask you something. Will you move in with me? I mean, I could get a job and student welfare and my house is big enough."

"Are you serious?"

I nodded and she jumped up on to me. She hugged me and I could feel tears slipping down her cheeks.

"Yes."

I don't think I've ever felt happier. I have the woman I love, a house of my own, my future has been coming together and I'm able to just be me. I hold her close and we just stay like this for a while. Eventually, I feel her breathing slow and know she's asleep. So I lay her down gently on her bed and put her window up quietly. I sneak out and get in my car and drive home.

Its about 0600 h, and I've finally got the place cleaned up. There's no blood stains or gross smells. All the garbage is gone and the dishes are put up. I even went grocery shopping and stocked up on healthy food and very little meat, because Emma is a vegetarian and I can make sacrifices for her.

By the time I get back to Emma's house its almost seven and I know I'm asking for trouble. I go in trough Emma's room, where she's still asleep, and I lay down next to her, sliding her into my arms. I guess it was just the right time too, because I could here Spike opening the door and hear her telling Snake, "He's in here, sleeping next to her. They look innocent enough." Its all muffled after that because they close the door.

I wake Emma up and we get ready to go upstairs and tell every one the news. As we sit around the breakfast table I decide to speak up first.

"Thank you guys, for everything, but I'm gonna go back to my house today."

Spike asked me if I was sure and I nodded. Emma spoke up next.

"I'm going with him."

Snake dropped the plate he was carrying and Spike choked on her orange juice.

"I mean it. I want to do this and I'm old enough. You can't stop me."

Spike nodded and put her glass down.

"Fine. Do that, but don't come crying to me when you can't pay the bills and you're both dying from malnutrition."

She walked off and Snake gave Emma a pleading look before following her.

This is going to be one hell of a ride.

**So, whatcha think? By the way # is like an asterik because they don't show on this. I was trying to say that 0200 h or something like that is 0200 hours, military time, and because I don't know time zones its Greenwich Mean Time. I have one thing to ask of you guys though. As much as I enjoy your reviews and hearing that my story rocks, I would like some constructive criticism or you to point out stuff you think really did well in the story. Thanks guys and gals, ladies and germs!**

**Mary**


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